Love & Relationships
“FINDING WAYS TO BLOW HIS MIND!”
I know first of all some of you are freaking out about the title of this discussion. But remember if truth be told many of us over forty have forgotten what this looks like and feels like.
We can get so caught up in kids, work, community that our most important relationship gets neglected and put on the back burner. Well one thing I know for sure is if we don’t openly talk about it, our daughters won’t know what to do about it.
Now understand, I didn’t grow up with a mother who told me any of the theories about how to keep the home fires burning but I watched her and I learned. She and my father were married until he passed away at seventy.
If you look around you our counterparts in other cultures find it ok to put it right out there for open discussion (Cosmo, Vogue, even Ladies Home Journal). But black women shy away from having the discussion. I’m puzzled and wonder why. Intimacy is both spiritual and healing of our hearts, minds and bodies.
So as promised we’re going to give you your swagger back and help you brighten up your days and his nights….and who knows you just may be putting in for that vacation time real soon!
1. Remember who your man is. What does he like to do? Okay so you don’t like football, or basketball. Rather than complain that he’s watching it, join him or at least get a book sit down and be quiet. Yes, I said it. Keep him company.
As black women we try so hard to compete with our men, or control our environments that we forget that you will get more flies with honey than vinegar. What you should be doing while he’s watching the game is figuring out where YOU want to go to dinner when the game is over. Cause guess what…you were all in to the game you didn’t get a chance to cook.
If he’s not in to sports and wants to see a movie (you’re not into blood and gore) let him choose the movie. Why? Cause most are attached to malls! Do you see where I’m going here.
Most brothers just want you to give them a little breathing room… and many with no prodding will thank you for appreciating who they are.
The most common complaint heard from men is that they don’t feel appreciated. You know that’s just behavior modification 101. Reward for something done good and they keep on doing it. So, show your man that you appreciate that he’s in your life (let’s face it you could be alone and there really are more sisters out there than brothers), and when you give them the chance to really be the men of the house… it usually translates into a better relationship for everyone in the home.
I know this sounds OLD Fashioned! But what’s old fashion about love, kindness, respect and a great relationship.
The next part to blowing his mind is really simple. Get up off the couch take off that sweatsuit, those jeans (unless they are skintight) and put on something sleek and gorgeous, fix your hair and for heavens sake wear some makeup! Have you ever wondered why a man turns and looks at a nice looking woman who he passes on the street (or just about anywhere for that matter).
Becasue men are visual creatures. They really like seeing nice things (cars, homes, a great view, and a good looking woman). So how come you can’t be that woman. Turn his head!
You know, men don’t need you to spend money on them (except the one’s that tell you that if you loved them you would buy them something. I’m gonna hope you dumped his butt cause he is a loser plain and simple), they would really like their women to look good. Why? So they can tell other brothers. Men like to talk about their woman. They want to be able to say, “well you know last night….(you fill in the blank).
I thnk you get our point. We have many more ways for you to blow his mind so stay tuned for our next discussion.
Until then… have a great relationship!